it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
