He is such a slut. More and more my type.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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