dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
