Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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