FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
