kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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