Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
