Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize