Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
