youre lurking in front of me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
