chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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