Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
