I think my fart just growled at me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We have started to decorate penises.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
