Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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