I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
