She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize