I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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