no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
