I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
