i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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