i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
