So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
