my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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