"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize