We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I party with great urgency now.
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