I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
