did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
