he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
