found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have feelings that need drinking.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize