so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
