so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
