I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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