I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
