WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
