well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
