The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
