I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
