Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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