He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
