so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
