everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
