if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
