i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
