Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Someone signed my nipple.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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