Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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