Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
