Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
