Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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