Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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