i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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