remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
