Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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