Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
