For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
