I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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