My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
