It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
