I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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