i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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