If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
