is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's the barista slut.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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