im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
