we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
