btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
