She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
