you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
