Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
