Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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